So it’s been quite a while since I’ve written anything for this. To be honest, I was just getting burnt out with everything going on in my life. After my marathon, things started to just slip for me and I needed to take a break from life. From running.
I miss it.
I’ve gotten considerably heavier since the middle of last year. Right about the time my marathon training started getting more heavy. And me too…..
Either way, I was starting to gain weight and honestly, running was getting much harder for me. Probably because I was gaining weight and be because I was getting just incredibly burnt out. I don’t know that I would ever run another marathon again. It just seemed more like a chore to me. Having to go out and run another 15+ miles on my day off.
Maybe I was just getting lazy.
Since the last year or so, I’ve gained almost 30 lbs. THIRTY. That’s actually a lot for someone who’s 5’1″ and 108 basically their entire teenage/adult years so far. Most people are nice about it when I complain to them and tell me “Get out of here! You can’t even tell!” or “I thought you were too skinny before. Now you look normal”.
I don’t know if that last one is a compliment or not…..
I don’t think it really hit me until our dream vacation this past May to Dubai and Phuket just how much I’ve gotten bigger. As I tried packing a few days prior, NOTHING fit me from last summer. NOTHING. Well, I guess you could say my swim suit fit – with the exception of my boobs (only good thing about gaining weight) which barely covered the nipples. (.)(.)
I tried really hard not to let it ruin this amazing vacation, but I was SO insecure and wanted to cover up the entire time. It sucked. Totally not like me.
After feeling like crap when I returned from my trip, I finally decided I wasn’t going to keep this up. I did not like feeling like this and it’s 100% not the type of person I am.
So why was I letting myself stay and feel this way?!
I finally made the decision about 5 weeks ago to make a change and get back to feeling like the “normal” me. I needed to find my motivation again so I joined a 6 week crossfit bootcamp to kick my ass back into gear.
Boy did it ever. But that’s for another post….
I’m trying to fall in love with fitness again and more so how it made me feel.
Accomplished. Motivated. Strong. Healthy. Energized. Free. Determined. Bad Ass.
And I’m going to use this blog again to keep me accountable and focused on my goals.
Tomorrow I’ll have my body comp results after my 6 weeks of crossfit. I hope I come back to write another post with some good results!