If You Do What You’ve Always Done…..

You guys, I need to post more. I can’t believe I haven’t posted since August!

One of my new year’s resolutions was to post more.

So much for that……

I’ve been killing it on the other resolutions though, so I call that a win.

2017 Resolutions

Get braces

Lose Weight (20 lbs)

Self Love

Save More Money

Cook More/Eat out Less

Eat Better

Move More

Meditate

Work on my Blog

I know that making resolutions are basically a joke, but I still do them every year. I am a “drive for results” kinda person, so I think this helps motivate me to achieve goals. Anyone else do New Year’s Resolutions still?

Last year I made some resolutions, but I don’t think I stuck to one of them. It was a difficult time for me mentally and physically, to be honest. I got super depressed because I gained a little over 20lbs and work just left me exhausted.

Side note: For those of you who don’t know me, I’m just over 5 feet, so 20lbs is A LOT on my small frame.

I felt horrible about myself and kept bringing myself down about it. My tipping point was our trip to Thailand and none of my summer clothes fit me to take with. It kinda brought me down on my AMAZING vacation. I kept harping on myself for letting myself get that way.

I finally realized at the end of the year I was just being lazy. I thought I was taking care of myself, but in reality:

 I wasn’t.

I wasn’t working out like I used to. I was sitting at my desk all day not moving. When I did work out, I was getting in 30-40 minutes a day all at once, but that was the only exercise/movement I was getting ALL DAY. I was eating SHIT.

Not literally, but when it comes down to it, it might as well have been.

I would come home too tired from my job (and not sleeping well the night before – hello dehydration!) and not want to cook. This made me extra hate on myself because I felt like a horrible wife for not cooking for my husband.

We’d then go out to eat, get take out or order a pizza.

Ah! The convenience!

Afterwards, we’d just veg out on the couch watching anime re-runs or catch up on missed TV shows. I was literally not moving ALL DAY and thinking 2 slices of pizza was “in moderation” like every other night.

I finally looked in the mirror and decided that I was done feeling like shit. I was done being this person I didn’t even recognize in the mirror. I didn’t want to go out in public or hang out with people anymore. I only wanted to eat fast food (something I had never done until then). I only wanted to sleep (I was going to bed at 8pm every night, sometimes 7:30!) and struggled to get up in the mornings. My skin was breaking out. My hair was breaking (even falling out actually) and looked gross and dull.

Maybe some of that was just getting older. I don’t know.

All I know was that I was a hot mess and I was done feeling like that.

I wanted to be the person I was a year or two ago. I wanted to be happy with myself and get back to doing the things I loved doing! I wanted to fit into my fabulous wardrobe that is currently sitting in a spare bedroom closet of mine.

I needed to make the decision to not continue in those ways and stick to it.

Always

I love this quote.

I kept trying to lose the weight and feel better about myself, but I was still doing the very things that were setting me back. I needed to get real and do something different.

I’m happy to say, I’m on the right track to getting back to where I am. I’ve had some great success with being smart about my choices and sticking to my New Year’s resolutions.

But I think I’ll save that for another post…….

XOXO

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Progress

I realize that I waited way too long to follow up on my cross fit boot camp class. To be honest, as much as it kicked my ass, I didn’t get the results I was expecting or hoping to get after 6 weeks.

So I kinda didn’t feel like sharing…..

My Results:

Over all, I lost .2lbs – with that, I gained 2.5lbs of muscle and I lost 2.2lbs of fat.

Whomp Whomp.

I had a friend who asked me about my results and when she found out how bummed I was after killing myself 3x a week for 6 weeks, she said:

“Progress is still Progress”.

She was 100% right. I may have set my expectations way too high (something I seem to do in all aspects of my life) and got super let down even though I had progress!

I made a change!

So even though I didn’t lose like 6lbs of fat like I maybe wanted to, I still got off my lazy ass for 3x a week and got moving. That is progress!

It did help me to become more motivated, I will give them that. I loved the group of ladies (and gentleman) that participated along with me and the crossfit community is a very fun and encouraging one. Despite that, I chose not to continue.

I am a runner.

That is where my true passion is and always has been. It was enough to always push me and challenge me, but not to the point where I was killing myself. It’s going to be hard getting back to where I was after taking a year off from running, but I know I’ll get back to it if I continue.

You gotta start somewhere and remember:

Progress of any kind is still progress!

XOXO

Hiatus

So it’s been quite a while since I’ve written anything for this. To be honest, I was just getting burnt out with everything going on in my life. After my marathon, things started to just slip for me and I needed to take a break from life. From running.

Running.

I miss it.

I’ve gotten considerably heavier since the middle of last year. Right about the time my marathon training started getting more heavy. And me too…..

Either way, I was starting to gain weight and honestly, running was getting much harder for me. Probably because I was gaining weight and be because I was getting just incredibly burnt out. I don’t know that I would ever run another marathon again. It just seemed more like a chore to me. Having to go out and run another 15+ miles on my day off.

Maybe I was just getting lazy.

Since the last year or so, I’ve gained almost 30 lbs. THIRTY. That’s actually a lot for someone who’s 5’1″ and 108 basically their entire teenage/adult years so far. Most people are nice about it when I complain to them and tell me “Get out of here! You can’t even tell!” or “I thought you were too skinny before. Now you look normal”.

I don’t know if that last one is a compliment or not…..

I don’t think it really hit me until our dream vacation this past May to Dubai and Phuket just how much I’ve gotten bigger. As I tried packing a few days prior, NOTHING fit me from last summer. NOTHING. Well, I guess you could say my swim suit fit – with the exception of my boobs (only good thing about gaining weight) which barely covered the nipples. (.)(.)

I tried really hard not to let it ruin this amazing vacation, but I was SO insecure and wanted to cover up the entire time. It sucked. Totally not like me.

After feeling like crap when I returned from my trip, I finally decided I wasn’t going to keep this up. I did not like feeling like this and it’s 100% not the type of person I am.

So why was I letting myself stay and feel this way?!

I finally made the decision about 5 weeks ago to make a change and get back to feeling like the “normal” me. I needed to find my motivation again so I joined a 6 week crossfit bootcamp to kick my ass back into gear.

Boy did it ever. But that’s for another post….

I’m trying to fall in love with fitness again and more so how it made me feel.

Accomplished. Motivated. Strong. Healthy. Energized. Free. Determined. Bad Ass.

And I’m going to use this blog again to keep me accountable and focused on my goals.

Tomorrow I’ll have my body comp results after my 6 weeks of crossfit. I hope I come back to write another post with some good results!

XOXO